Like many women out there, I had the "perfect" future family plan: Get married by 30

By Sarita Stefani

Start trying for a child at 31 (it takes around 1 year to get pregnant and 9 months of pregnancy)

And finally, be pregnant at 33.

But by the time I reached 30, my expectations of what I thought would’ve happened, were not met. I still had dreams and doubts about what I wanted to do. At the same time, there was that additional societal pressure of having all of this figured out by a certain age.

Motherhood was definitely one of them, and I knew deep down I still wasn’t ready. Ideally, I would’ve wanted to travel more, and experience things first, and I knew I wouldn’t have the schedule to do these things. It created a lot of anxiety for me as if there was some looming deadline. I felt that I could lose the chance at being a mother every day. And that’s when I came across egg freezing.

With fertility treatments being taboo enough, navigating this space was a very daunting yet intriguing process. When I first spoke up about egg freezing in my circle, it was almost like a domino effect, being told stories of people, both men and women who were undergoing a form of fertility treatment. But this blanket only made it harder to find information about egg freezing. I know I had the support of my fertility doctors, but I wanted to hear real stories from women like me. So, I documented my own process.

Firstly, the egg-freezing process felt like a numbers game. From my AMH levels to my antral follicle count, to my other hormone levels and so on. I was met with percentage after percentage. The fact that a lot of things depended on how my body was going to respond to the drugs, did create a lot of uncertainty for me but it was still worth trying to preserve my fertility.

Secondly, the ovarian stimulation process was easier than I had thought. Don’t get me wrong, I am not a fan of needles, but throughout the two-week effort, I found that this became very routine and I just became used to it. I was told in depth how to administer the injections and built the courage to do it alone. Actually, what really bothered me were the period-like symptoms that I had to deal with: bloating, grogginess, the occasional cramps, and feeling tired.

Thirdly, the feeling of having egg-freezing over and done has let me feel more relaxed about family planning. Although I am fully aware that egg freezing isn’t an insurance, I have more hope in family planning, knowing that my eggs are on ice. I might need them, I might not, I might use them, I might not, but I would have regrets if I did not try what I could to increase my chances to have a baby in the future.

And lastly, what I have recalled the most is the lack of awareness when it comes to our fertility. Many women decide not to know what’s happening with their bodies or are completely unaware of the decline in their fertility levels because they never test or have a vaginal scan until later in their 30s. Yes, it can be awkward at first, especially if you have never visited a gynaecologist before, but one check-up could save you years of heartbreak. If more women understood fertility treatments like egg freezing, or simply their own fertility, more women can make better-informed decisions. We need to change this dynamic and empower women to take decisions based on medical evidence.

I also never thought that my path to motherhood would be the reason why I started Amilis, an online platform providing transparent facts about fertility and preservation treatments, such as elective egg freezing. I wanted women to be armed with enough information, such as the egg-freezing process, being able to choose clinics that suit them and be reminded to consider their fertility health. By partnering with these clinics, we’ve made sure that people can book free initial consultation calls with any of our doctors, to get the insight which I wish had back then.

I am now married and I have consciously decided to not miss my chances and froze my eggs last year. I am perfectly aware that this treatment does not guarantee I to have a child in future, but it does make me feel more relaxed to know I have the possibility to try to use my eggs if I need them.

We are seeing a lot of positive and negative articles about egg freezing. The reality is, no article will make sense to me if it comes the day I get to use my eggs and increase my chances of becoming a mother in the future.